| • Unsolicited Testimonial:
AT LAST I CAN LOVE AND LIKE NICK
As Nick was growing up we could sense there was something different. Out of the four children he was the odd one out.
A lot of people called it ‘middle child syndrome’ and ‘well he is a
boy!’ That sort of re-assured me for a while until the next vocal
outburst or total destruction of one of his toys.
At
pre-school he couldn’t sit on the mat and listen to a story, he was
fidgety and restless but all the same excellent with the construction
of boxes. I don’t remember getting a painting home from Pre-school.
I
think Nick was the first preppy to be taken to the principles office
for hitting someone. Again my fears for Nick were put to rest by his
teachers, “they all learn at a different pace, don’t compare siblings
and boys are always slow to mature”. That was alright for them to say. They
didn’t have to go home and try to be the referee, umpire, councillor
and a mother to a little boy who abused you, hit you, fought with
siblings and was forever unhappy, had no confidence and lacking self
esteem.
As Nick was making his way through school
people said “he’s just being a boy, he’ll grow out of it, second child
syndrome”, we heard it all and believed it all ‘till it come to a head.
By the time
Nick was eleven we had all had enough and he was quite out of control,
something had to give. Annaleise was in year 7 and had a lot of
homework and was not coping with all the distractions. Quite frankly I wasn’t coping
with all the arguments and screaming either. That’s what it came down
to in the end. There was no way I would take the kids out by myself if
Brett couldn’t come. Because he was working we just wouldn’t go
anywhere and it was all because I couldn’t control him by myself, he
wouldn’t take any notice of me.
Nick
enjoyed going to his grandparents place in Jamieson for the weekends
and to be honest it was a great relief to us for him to be away for the
weekend. It gave us all a break, horrible for us to say but
that is what it was like. I love him dearly but at the same time I hated him for what he was doing to our family.
It seemed as if he couldn’t relate to any of his peers or siblings, he
was a one on one child. Nick was lovely child when he was by himself
and he had our full on attention but to be with him and his siblings it
was a nightmare. When we would go the Jamieson to get him, there was a
complete change in his attitude and behaviour as soon as we got there,
he was outrageously out of control.
We
have 2 girls and 2 boys’ ages, Annaleise 14, Nicholas is now 12, Thomas
who is 10 and Grace is nearly 9. The kids have shared rooms and at
night when it was bedtime the boys were impossible, they were throwing
things at each other, shouting, swearing and fighting. I was ready to
leave home. But instead we had an extension put on our house and now
they all have a bedroom to themselves and peace prevails at night time.
The next week we had an appointment in Melbourne with a
paediatrician, the long and the short of it, they diagnosed him with
A.D.H.D. Something we had discussed before hand and said we wouldn’t
put Nick on any drugs at all, but we were really at crisis point,
we had to do something and didn’t know what else to do, nor did we know
of an alternative. We thought about it and decided we would go with the
drugs, for all of out sakes, we really didn’t have any choice. He was on one tablet a day and only on school days.
Nick settled down and was actually doing some work at school too. Before the drugs he couldn’t sit still nor concentrate for long periods of time. We thought we were finally on a winner, but we discovered he was getting harder to get to bed and he wasn’t eating anymore.
We
kept close contact with the school to see how he was doing with his
behaviour and progress. His principle gave me some info to read, I only
wish I had got it ages ago. It finally gave us an alternative to the
drugs that Nick was taking and in the long term they would be very
harmful to him. After listening to Lillian we were very eager to get
Nick started and to finally stop using the harmful drugs. Nick started
on extra minerals, vitamins, antioxidants and noni juice. The, minerals
that are so lacking in our modern diets.
As a family we are no
longer eating the fast foods that contain preservatives and we are
making better choices when it comes to the supermarket shopping. As we
were educated in making better choices for our family, I was disgusted
in finding what was actually in some of the foods and household
products. We have now changed over our bathroom and personal care to
products that are safe for us to use and safer for the environment.
Nick is now off the drugs and he has no longer got dark circles under
his eyes, no more full on tantrums, no more physical abuse from him, no
more yelling from siblings to do something about him or else, no more
wishing he would go away for the weekend.
At last I can love and like Nick,
we actually have conversations that last for more than two minutes and
no one getting out of control. He has friends, I think that is the
outstanding change he is able to communicate with them and socialise
with his peers as before he was a loner and a very unhappy boy. For
Nick this has been a life saving experience and at last we are a
family.
Julie Godfrey Oct 2003
An update on Nicholas
Since l
last put pen to paper, Nicholas has stayed on track. He is now in year
seven and going quite well, he is never going to be an A grade scholar,
that doesn't really matter to me any more. He is now able to get along
with his peers and respect his teachers and to me that is more
important at the moment. He has a bit of catching up to do because of
the lack of concentration in previous years but he is well on the way,
he got a great report first semester.
Nicholas
has joined his sisters and brother in the dancing school. He is tapping
and going very well, for his first eisteddfod he did a fantastic job.
Nicholas
has grown into a fine young man, we are very proud of him and the
challenges that he has overcome. I would like to thank Andrew and
Lillian from the bottom of my heart because I don't know where we would
be without their guidance.
Julie Godfrey June 2004
Country Victoria |
